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Joke of the Day

"The US government had a shutdown."

"People often ask me why I'm single and how surprised they are Then after speaking to me for 15 mins they say they can understand why I am"

"If ISIS would really like the world to know their intentions.. they should kill a lion"

"I had a joke about wet floors but it must have slipped my mind"

"Why can't your nose be twelve inches long? Because then it'd be a foot"

"Today I've decided to rename things in the office to start with ""i"" like Apple. There's iStapler, iPostitnotes, iWishitwasfriday..."

"We could hit every terrorist on the Most Wanted List tomorrow, if we turned it over to Google's ad department."

"Received definitive proof I'm going blind AND senile this morning as I just attempted to pinch zoom the newspaper."

"Why are there fences around a graveyard? People are dying to get in."

"Are we dangerous? ""Yes"" replied mother earth."