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Joke of the Day

"A guy called into work and says, ""Hey, boss! What's the difference between work and your daughter?"" ""I'm not coming into work this morning!"""

"Why was the calculator salesman happy when he sold his cheapest calculator? Because they all add up!"

"Did you hear about the girl that backed into an airplane propeller? Disaster"

"Look dude, I'm going to need to see alot more chest hair and jewelry if you want into my Disco party"

"Be a deer and get shot in the woods for me?"

"EVERY SENTIENT & NON-SENTIENT CONGLOMERATION OF MOLECULES ON THIS EARTH HAS A BF. WTF."

"Did you know the first baseball game was held in the Garden of Eden? Eve stole first, Adam stole second, and Abel struck out."

"I'm at my most ""penguin"", when I'm walking to get more toilet paper with my shorts around my ankles."

"If two past lovers can remain friends, either they never were in love or they still are."

"Teacher: What's the definition of a Polygamist? Pupil: A parrot with more than one wife!"