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Joke of the Day

"Why was the calculator salesman happy when he sold his cheapest calculator? Because they all add up!"

"What does it look like when you microwave a baby? Not sure, I close my eyes when I masturbate"

"Why don't we see more midget actors? I guess you can say that they are in short supply these days."

"Just watched Jersey Shore for 5 minutes and now I realize why we have to do things like write ""do not eat"" on dry silica packets"

"Cop: How much have you had to drink? Me: Like six carrot juices Cop: Please step out of the hamster wheel"

"It is a little known fact that the Bermuda Triangle used to be called the Bermuda Rectangle.Until one side mysteriously disappeared."

"Blind Masturbation Championships Went to the blind masturbation championships the other day. No idea where I came."

"I was starving earlier so I opened up a beanbag chair. There were no beans, only styrofoam. Im furious, Im hungry and I have nowhere to sit."

"What Do You Call a Jewish Pokemon Trainer? answer: ash"

"How many homophones does it take to change a lightbulb? Nun."