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Joke of the Day

"if you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter well then I've got some news for you"

"What is the friendliest kind of aircraft? A Hello-copter."

"How do tacos fair in a war? They tend to be shells of their former selves"

"What do you get if you cross a drummer with Mike Tyson? A beatboxer."

"I was at the ATM, and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, So I pushed her over."

"What do you call the entrance you come through from hell to get into heaven? The Glory Hole"

"I went to the barbers today. My wife sent me a text that said we had a pipe leaking. I told the barber we're going to have to cut this short. I walked out with a buzz cut."

"I bet the first person to keep track of his age was a gigantic tool ""This is my 24th winter"" Shut up and help us kill this boar, Stuart"

"Being possessed would be cool because you could turn your head all the way around to say ""wrong hole"""

"What do you call a good looking Lebanese man? Azif"