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Joke of the Day
"My essay for graduate school reeks of bullshit and broken dreams disguised as lessons learned."
Next Joke
"I'm a Responsible Gun Owner. I did the right thing and got my gun neutered. Now it just fires blanks."
"date: and then after traveling to Iceland I decided to get my MBA me: date: me: I went to Arby's 7 times yesterday"
"Leg Chat: What did the left leg say to the right leg? Q: What did the left leg say to the right leg? A: ""That one in the middle thinks he's hard."""
"What do you call a pothead that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless"
"Everyone's talking about how the story with Ahmed and the clock has really blown up... ... but isn't the whole point of the story that the clock never blew up?"
"Teenage daughter called me an old fart. We both laughed and then I changed the password to our wifi."
"If you feed Donald Trump after midnight or put him in water what will he turn into? A Kremlin."
"*interrupts your class* Girl sorry to embarrass you, but I wrote this for you *whips out guitar, fucks up intro* wait. *tries again* wait."
"Girls are like rocks skip the flat ones"