110585

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond? Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money."

"Stop! Hammered time."

"What shatters faster than your smartphone screen? A newborn with osteoporosis."

"This just isn't my day... It could be raining t*tties and I'd get hit in the head with a d*ck..."

"Oral makes your whole day... But anal makes your hole weak!"

"i can guess how someone will die based on their clothes date: what about me? Hawaiian themed bathroom fire"

"What is the difference between a human dad and a moth dad? Two letters."

"Lip Balm To My Wife Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She's still not talking to me."

"Women hate to be stereotyped. .. They're all like that."

"Coworker: I lost my phone. Me: WHAT? CW: I don't know where it is. M:*perplexed look* You're not glued to it like a NORMAL person? Freak!"