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Joke of the Day

"Where does Christopher Walken like to smoke cigars? A Walken humidor."

"What did Bill Cosby say in response to his rape allegations? Kids say the darndest things."

"More of a riddle, actually. I happen once a year, but twice a week. You can easily find me in a store, but you won't see me in a mall. What am I?"

"A barbed wire tattoo is a great way to keep people from breaking into your upper arm."

"Africa The US sent a humanitarian shipment of medicine to Africa, but it is was returned after a few weeks, because the label said ""take after a meal"". Sorry."

"A Freudian slip is... when you say one thing, and mean amother."

"[drive thru] GUY ON INTERCOM: can I help you ME: yeah are you guys open"

"What do you call a nun lost in the woods? A Roamin Catholic."

"Friend: you should come over tonight. we're watching 'How to Train Your Dragon 2' Me: Friend: Me: to what? Friend:"

"(Court) Judge: You're on trial for excessive use of astronomy puns. How do you plead? Defendant: *leans in until lips are on mic* No comet."