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Joke of the Day

"All liquor stores are open 24 hours. When you have a brick."

"How do you catch an Elephant? Dig a hole, fill it with ashes, and line the outside with peas. So when the Elephant comes to take a pea, you can kick him in the ash hole."

"Have you heard about Corduroy pillows? They are putting lines in your face!"

"The best part of being single is being able to sleep around... You get to sleep all over your bed. Left, right, diagonal, or in the middle."

"Of all the advice given to me over the years, ""There really is no bad time for a beer"" has proved to be the most helpful. Thanks ma."

"It's so cold outside... I even saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!"

"Q. What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? A. Donut seeds."

"Whats the worst joke you can play on an American? Two pies to the face and one somewhere in a field in Pennsylvania."

"Why didn't the girl cross the street? She didn't have the balls"

"9 y/o daughter: dad, what's your favourite healthy food? Me: fruits. Your's? 9: Eggs Me: Good 9: like Reese's peanut butter eggs"