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Joke of the Day
"The annoying moment when I get comfy in bed and realize I forgot to do something."
Next Joke
"My dogs keep looking at me as if I have the power to fix the snow outside but I'm too goddamned lazy to do it"
"A man once thought he'd discovered a new primary color but it proved to be merely a pigment of his imagination."
"Why was the baseball team hot? It didn't have any fans!"
"A punk girl goes shopping and asks the cashier ""Can i get a refund if my parents like these clothes?"""
"Since we have several people participating in the debate tonight... Would it be considered a mass debate?"
"[identifying body] Cop: this him? Me: yea Cop: he's burnt pretty bad huh Me: yea Cop: ... Me: ... Cop: prolly get a discount on cremation"
"""At your cervix, m'lady"" - me as an OBGYN and also just me"
"Why doesn't the melon get married? Because it cantaloupe."
"Nothing in the history of the English language has backfired more than the phrase ""calm down."""