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Joke of the Day
"Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup! Yes sir it's the hot water that kills them."
Next Joke
"*tries to quietly check the football score during a home invasion"
"Staples is attempting a hostile takeover of its rival Office Depot. Office Depot has retaliated by snapping rubber bands at Staples."
"I just donated money to help create water reservoirs for families in need. It was money well spent!"
"I Tweet and drive because the tragedy of me forgetting a Tweet is far greater than me being injuried"
"Teacher: When do astronauts eat? Pupil: At launch time!"
"I'm about to see if two carrot sticks can undo the damage of three margaritas and six hot dogs."
"When is a lion not a lion ? When he turns into his cage !"
"So, nothing rhymes with orange, huh? *changes name to MC Orange, wins every rap battle, and retires undefeated*"
"""One man's trash is another man's treasure"".. ..is a shitty way to tell a kid they're adopted"