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Joke of the Day

"I played the word ""mature"" in a game of Scrabble. My friend played ""immature"" and got the Triple Word Score so I flipped the board over."

"Apparently ""I don't like scary movies,"" is not an appropriate response to being asked to watch a wedding video."

"Yeah I'm married, but get one thing straight,,, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanhjkjhgfd,, THIS IS SCOTT'S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT."

"I just read an article in the newspaper about how 60% of adults still live with their parents. I was like ""OMG Mum did you read this???"""

"What's the weather like in Iraq ? Sunni in the North Shiite in the South."

"Oscar Wilde: Always be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. Liam Neeson: I will find them. Wilde: Wait, I meant- Neeson: EVERYONE"

"A mom is having dinner with her daughter And her daughter exclaims ""Mom, I don't really like the red soup"", her mom replies ""Be quiet child-we only get it once a month"""

"A bag of flour is bragging to his friend about his new girlfriend ...His friend asks ""Does she have a sifter?"""

"Kiwis are just lemons that forgot to shave."

"My anaconda don't want none unless you use proper grammar and avoid using double negatives."