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Joke of the Day

"Just tried to massage a stressed worm but I did it too hard and now it's dead and arguably more stressed than before"

"Nice try, private caller. I don't answer the phone if I know you either."

"Asked the librarian for a book on the female G Spot. He couldn't find it."

"Why are dockhands never featured in Miley Cyrus music videos? Because they're port workers."

"Just heard a woman compare different products by calling the last one ""even differenter."" I am now embarrassed to be human."

"What kind of pants does Super Mario wear? Denim Denim Denim"

"A horse comes into a bar.., No wait, it was a man. A horse comes in a man..."

"What do you call lesbians doing karate? dikewondo"

"The school phoned me today and said, ""Your son's been telling lies."" I replied, ""Well, tell him he's bloody good - I ain't got any kids!"""

"Never trust couscous. It's just fat sand."