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Joke of the Day

"Asked the librarian for a book on the female G Spot. He couldn't find it."

"What do you tell a person who is about to jump off a bridge and commit suicide ""Don't do it! You have so much potential"""

"I should really stop getting stoned before I shower. I think I just washed my hair 16 times."

"My ex posted a pic captioned, ""Just me"" and I commented, ""Yes just you and your 7 personalities"""

"I ducked into a crowd of guys bro hugging as they left the bar, they didn't notice the stranger in their midst and I'm feeling so loved rn."

"This stray cat on my balcony is looking at me like I'm invading its privacy."

"Blind friend and a cheese grater I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read."

"How do you say ""bra"" in german? CUZITHODZITFOMFOPIN."

"Why did the Boston Marathon runner collapse before finishing the race? (WTF?) His thighs were burning too bad."

"I tried to cook something from scratch..and ended up summoning a demon."