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Joke of the Day

"Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs? A: She fell out of the tree."

"Why do you duct tape guinea pigs? So they don't burst when you fuck them"

"I love animals, but I'm thinking of getting rid of my pet anaconda. It keeps taking horse sized dumps. Also, all my horses have gone missing."

"If they grew up in the same house and shared a pet, siblings have the same porn name and I think that's just SICK."

"Half of men in America watch porn everyday. The other half are liars."

"Me: It's not often that a single guy like me gets a home cooked meal. Her: Why don't you get married? Me: I've never been that hungry."

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs"

"Sex is like the Dudley Do Right Show. And her orgasm is like that poor women trapped on the train tracks while you franticly try and get her off before the train comes on her face."

"Me: oh hi! Did you come over because I'm sad? How do you always know when I need you? Cat: get me my damn jingle mouse. Me: I love you too"

"Two priest walk into bar and disappointed... there are no young boys there."