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Joke of the Day

"Sex is like the Dudley Do Right Show. And her orgasm is like that poor women trapped on the train tracks while you franticly try and get her off before the train comes on her face."

"BRAIN: it's 4am u up? ME: leave me alone B: who was our grade 5 teacher? M: stop B: why's our eye itchy? M: I'm ignoring u B: engage bladder"

"My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don't exist. He's busy vacuuming now."

"How is a gynecologist like a pizza delivery boy? They both get close enough to smell it, but if they eat it, they'll be fired."

"If there is ever a corn army, I'll join it... ...and I'll be the colonel."

"Why did the comedian go to doctor? Because the audience gave him the clap"

"What do a Catholic Priest and McDonald's have in common? Both like to stick their meat in 10 year old buns."

"A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner... ...The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. ""Och, I look like a pig!"" The man nods, ""And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"""

"Telling someone they can't be sad because others have it worse, is like telling someone they can't be happy because others have it better!"

"Forgot to buy a gift for a friends Wedding. Luckily someone died at an intersection nearby so I scored a cool wooden cross and a teddy bear"