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Joke of the Day

"I love animals, but I'm thinking of getting rid of my pet anaconda. It keeps taking horse sized dumps. Also, all my horses have gone missing."

"Based on the number of nurses on twitter, I now know why I'm bleeding to death in the ER."

"What do you call a homosexual in Iran after he's been outed? Low hanging fruit."

"I've finally taken the time to list my collection of John Lennon memorabilia on eBay. Imagine all the PayPal."

"Why does no-one use the rhinos ATM? Because he charges!"

"*thinks happy thoughts* *throws pixie dust in your eyes* *flies off with all your money*"

"A shirt so loud, you have to wear ear plugs when you put it on."

"Great to meet you too, person I'll never see again."

"What's a glow worms favourite song ? Wake me up before you glow glow !"

"When people are kissing in public, it's weird how angry they get when you try and join in."