110241

Joke of the Day

"It's a dark stormy night. You're scared & alone. You hear a bump in the night. You jump! You scream! Then your cat comes in the house drunk."

Next Joke
 
"Even though I know its wrong. I don't know whats right... Damn math problems!"
"Why is it called necrophilia and not sexual intercorpse"
"The fact that we all attempt to look nice and go out and drink ourselves to death is proof that life is fucking terrible."
"When my swear jar gets full I'm gonna use the money to buy a motherfucking puppy!"
"Life is like a sewer... What you get out of it depends on what you put into it. (Shamelessly ripped from An Evening Wasted with Tom Lehrer)"
"Wanna hear a joke? My bank account... :("
"DATE IDEA: We stay in our respective homes and watch different shows on Netflix. And also that was a fake phone number I gave you."
"What would I be if I doubled myself? Meme"
"What does acid reflux and dubstep have in common? They both get better when you drop the ""base""."