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Joke of the Day

"The fact that we all attempt to look nice and go out and drink ourselves to death is proof that life is fucking terrible."

"Maybe the seventh time around I'll feel different about finding something I want to eat if I glance in the fridge just once more."

"One day I mixed my girlfriend up with flour and butter then I stirred in some milk and sugar. She's scone now..."

"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have Ethiopians."

"The only thing worse than girls going after the ""Bad Boy"" is today's perception of what a Bad Boy is."

"I took my metal detector to the beach today expecting to find antiques of great value. Beach better have my money"

"For an international audience, spell the pop star's name as ""KeUSDha."""

"My lucky number is 17 so I'm really hoping that 2017 is finally going to be my year. Otherwise, I'll have to change my lucky number again."

"I want to start a business selling bait for fishing I plan to call it, ""Master Baiters & Tackle"""

"""Want to come watch the game Saturday at 8:00?"" Well I'm going rollerskating at 1:00, so yeah I should be out of the hospital by then."