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Joke of the Day

"Why was 110 afraid of 111? Because 111 1000 1001"

"Saw a FB group called 'I hate rapists'. *Phew* glad we solved that problem. Anything else we need to tackle while I've got the keyboard out?"

"Actual ""dad"" joke from my dad What does Mickey Mouse do to Minnie Mouse after she drowns and he pulls her out of the water? Mouse to Mouse resuscitation."

"As i lay in bed at night... As i lay in bed at night and stare up at the stars, i couldn't help but wonder, ""where the hell did my roof go"""

"Everyone sings ""Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You"" to their selfies, right guys? Guys?..."

"Pope joins twitter. Quits being Pope. Takes twittercide to a whole new level. Your move, drama queens."

"Depression. Why treat it when you can end it?"

"People who believe in aliens are such freaking idiots. I'll tweet more about it when I get back from my Bigfoot hunt tonight."

"Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape? A: Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!"

"If you can read this, you're standing too close to my iPhone!"