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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me ""Sex is better on holiday"". That wasn't a very nice postcard to receive."

"What's good on pizza but not on pussy? Crust"

"What do you call slapping hands with (5^.5+1)/2? A high phive! I'll see myself out now."

"A police officer pulls over a speeding car.. The cop said to the driver, ""Ha! I've been waiting for someone like you all day!"". The driver replied, ""Well, I got here as fast as I could!"""

"Ever hear about the Roman general who had a fit every time there was cold weather? Hail.. seizure"

"A wolf in a river didn't know w(h)ere it was, so it how-led and an owl ""who'd"" back. The wolf replied ""What?"""

"Why can't Bane play baseball? He always breaks the bat."

"Dolphins are just Sharks who watch Glee."

"What do dwarves use to cut their pizza? Little Caesars"

"When I awoke from the car accident in a full bodycast, my wife was right at my bedside to let me know that childbirth is still more painful."