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Joke of the Day

"My wife is a lot like a facebook post... Lots of people like her, she gets lots of comments, she has been shared by thousands of people, and she may be viral."

"What does your mom and my fantasy football team have in common? As soon as I put money on them, they suck."

"Why was Dracula always willing to help young vampires? Because he liked to see new blood in the business."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? [fixed] You can hang the picture with only one nail."

"What do you call two banana peels on the floor? Slippers"

"[Heart: Tell her her eyes are windows into eternity, filled with fire... Brain: Beacons, stars in a vast darkness] Mouth: HEY GREAT EYEBALLS"

"What do you call a gorilla in water? Harambait."

"Whisper ""whey protein"" into a mirror three times if you want a straight white man to come out of it and talk at you"

"What did the religious pear say to the grape that lost his wife? ""Everything happens for a raisin"""

"How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? 10. 1 to change it and 9 to say they could have done it better."