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Joke of the Day
"why did Adele cross the street? To say hello...from the other side"
Next Joke
"Mickey Rourke needs to get beaten up at the beginning of every movie he's in so it explains his face."
"Putting a carrot next to you in bed can almost fill the space where Megan used to slep"
"Every 15 minutes, a woman gets run over. She's starting to get pissed."
"""Okay, just gonna check Twitter ONE MORE TIME and then I'll get back to work."" - me, always"
"What don't you ever wanna call a black person that begins with the letter n. And ends with the letter r? Neighbor"
"What lurks in the dark, has wings and sucks blood? The new Always Ultra."
"Which is the smartest tall mountain? Mt. Cleverest Hue hue"
"Watching a show about women who choose to give birth outside. Like, let's take the most painful experience of my life and add bugs and shit."
"So I drew a perfect circle today. You could say I finally got around to it."