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Joke of the Day
"Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him? He stung her into action."
Next Joke
"The Miami Dolphins...."
"Daddy can u get me a drink? ""No, you're 5yo you can get your own drink"" Fine *goes to fridge ""While you're there can you grab me a beer?"""
"What looks like grass but is red? grass, i lied about the red part"
"How do you always keep your shoes tied? Replace the laces with earphones."
"Me: ""This Chardonnay is so nice, I can really taste the oaky undertones"" ""Sir those are just chunks of cork from opening it with your keys"""
"Newt Gingrich would probably leave the presidential race... if he learned it had cancer."
"What does a pirate wear if he works at Apple? iPatch"
"If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, ""Did you mean Chuck Norris?"" It simply replies, ""Run while you still have the chance."""
"I just got my first hand job. I'm officially a manicurist."