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Joke of the Day

"I was in my space ship with my pregnant wife, travelling about .95c, when she suddenly went into labor. Turns out time wasn't the only thing that was dilated."

"Your momma is so mean... she has no standard deviation."

"Never judge a book by its cover Use the paragraph on the back instead.."

"Facial scrubs with bits of fruit in them are a pretty big ""fuck you!"" to third world countries."

"Study indicates Percussion as cause of Hard Drive failure. Whacked Drives Shatter..."

"What manner of evil contract with the devil must I enter into so I can get eye drops INTO my eyes?"

"What would Apple laptops be called if Steve Jobs had been Irish? McBook Eyre"

"Have you heard of the restaurant on the moon? great food, no atmosphere"

"Your stick figure family window sticker promotes an unrealistic and unhealthy body image for your children."

"A quick joke... Yesterday I went drinking with the Russians. I almost died. Today I went drinking with some Serbians. I wish I had died yesterday... :D"