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Joke of the Day

"What style of art was preferred by the Third Reich? Post-Imprussianist."

"Stops rape every time Consent"

"What's the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather, kinky is using the whole chicken."

"A butcher married a baker and had a kid who grew up to be what? Fat."

"*wakes up w/phone in hand* Me:[texting] Sorry I fell asleep on ya last night *text chime* Couch: I'm like right here why are you texting me?"

"I just ended a 5 years long relationship I'm fine, it wasn't my relationship."

"Buying a life insurance policy is best way to pretend that you have a life."

"Why does Stephen Hawking have a boring sex life? You can't 69 in binary."

"Why aren't the people in old timey photos ever smiling? Because they were in constant danger of getting eaten by dinosaurs. READ A BOOK."

"I really think they should rename the ""Twin"" size mattress to ""Jack"", since it makes more sense along with the King and Queen sizes, and that's mostly what happens in that size bed anyway."