109433

Joke of the Day

"Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird? Tequila, I'm looking at you."

"Why do they never serve a beer at math party? Because you can't drink and derive"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? As a child, you could have been anything. And one by one, you didn't become any of them."

"Never marry a cross-eyed woman They're always seeing someone on the side."

"January 29, 1802, 2 AM: I hope this letter finds you well. Are you up? March 2: I am, good sir April 6: Would you kindly come over? May 9: K"

"Sometimes I'll send a tweet, notice a typo in it, delete it, re-send it, notice a different typo, unplug computer, change my name and move."

"I once heard this joke about corn It was a-maizeing"

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable ? The wheelchair"

"""Take it from the top, but do it a bit more boring and awful this time."" --Coldplay's Producer"

"Black person: Jeans $200, Shirt $100, Shoes $160, pockets.. $0 White Person: Jeans $15, Shirt $20, Shoes $30, pockets $5,000"