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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a snake that's 3.14 metres long? A thon"
Next Joke
"""yes I'm very good in bed"" *folds blanket and neatly props up pillow* *pillow falls over* ""Oh no, this doesn't normally happen I swear"""
"When is a car no longer a car? When it turns into a driveway"
"What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese."
"What DOESN'T Bruce want for Christmas from his ex? A Krismas goose."
"If the United States ever collapses, the upside is that we can finally use the blue starry part of American flags to make wizard hats."
"How did the redneck find his sister in the woods? Pretty hot."
"So I saw a black man running with a TV. Horrified I thought it was mine. But upon arrival home I saw mine was in its right place. Polishing my shoes."
"Aaanndd I've just been peed on. Were I Tila Tequila I'd have met 1 of my New Years resolutions before the clock had even struck midnight"
"I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm... ...the loud ringing noise from it was giving me a headache and making me dizzy."