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Joke of the Day

"I don't think so unnamed henchman shooting at the main character."

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a computer? I give a shit when my computer crashes"

"My girlfriend steals all the blankets in her sleep and I wake up cold, next to an adorable linen burrito."

"What does the sun skate on? Solarblades"

"Why are fish so thin? Because they eat fish!"

"I keep trying to think of a bone joke But none of them are humerous"

"Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I'm hoping that she's having an affair."

"Apparently, walking up behind a girl in the produce isle with celery in my hand and saying ""I'm stalking you"" was much funnier in my head."

"H G Wells walked into a library and asked for a book on Time Travel. ""Bugger off""said the librarian, ""you didn't bring it back"""

"What do you call the only wood that doesn't float? Natalie."