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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, walking up behind a girl in the produce isle with celery in my hand and saying ""I'm stalking you"" was much funnier in my head."

"[Dinner with GF's parents] Thank you for having me over, can I use the bathroom? ""MAY I use the bathroom"" *slams fists down* I ASKED FIRST"

"Whats Hitlers least favourite pokemon? Pikajew!"

"My friend told me he walked into his house and saw that the sheets of paper in his office were having an orgy. I asked him, ""How does paper cum?"" ""Why,"" he replied, ""in stacks, of course."""

"A kid came to my door earlier dressed like a mime, so I pretended to put candy in his basket."

"What do you call a guy who is afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic!"

"Why did the woman turn to her husband and say ""now who the hell would dump such a nice sofa out here in the woods?"" She was looking at a bear and thought it was a sofa due to the four legs."

"Friend nagged me for TDKR OST. Renamed Backstreet Boys song and mailed them to him. Fun."

"Pappu:- Should i punished for the work which I have not done?? Teacher: - No of course not, but why do you ask? Pappu: - Because, I have not done my home work.... :) :)"

"Why are Jedi terrible at Rugby? Because ""There is no Try."""