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Joke of the Day

"Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I'm hoping that she's having an affair."

"*boyfriend calls girlfriend* Bf: ""Hey Babe, I love you!"" Gf: ""we're breaking up"" Bf: ""no we're not, I can hear you just fine."""

"Even if you don't have to poop, bathrooms are still a nice place to take your pants off and sit for a while."

"What is Paula Deens Least Favorite Pokemon? Butterfree"

"Kids make friends in 5 seconds, adults make friends in 5 drinks."

"Just once, I'd like to sleep as deeply as a cartoon sheriff whose keys are dangling seductively from his belt."

"I was gonna make a joke about the internet... But Why Would We need it"

"""Please let go of my hair"" -my gynaecologist"

"What did god say when he created the first black man? fuck you"

"In West Philadelphia born & raised/ through my anus is where I got most of my AIDS - Tom Hanks in Philadelphia'"