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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator."

"DAD JOKE: Do you know where you get water from? Well..."

"What did the doe say when she came out of the woods? I'm never doing that for two bucks again!"

"TIL ninjas only have sex in the dark... That way you can't see them coming."

"I've got to go guys. Yesterday I bought a new shampoo that's supposed to change my life."

"I am watching silence of the lambs for the first time and... I am **eating** this movie up."

"WIFE: I got us this new candle ME: sweet. What flavor is it? W: don't you mean 'what scent is it?' ME (with a mouthful of candle wax): What?"

"My proctologist gave me two thumbs up. Which I did not appreciate."

"How do you circumcise a redneck? You kick his sister in the back of the head."

"""My name will live forever!"" - Anonymous."