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Joke of the Day

"Why do people say,""You can't make this stuff up."" Nope. Not true at all. You can literally make up anything you want anytime."

"The heaviest things in the world: 4) iron 3) lead 2) tungsten 1) a toddler who doesn't want to be picked up"

"My calculus professor recently divorced his wife .. .. one day he simply told her ""I'm making a you substitution""."

"I was recently in a museum in Europe So much Picasso I wanted to Pablow my brains out"

"Can I ask you a question? Me and my co worker was having a good conversation about school that lasted about 20 mins. Then she said ""Can I ask you a question"" and I replied ""You just did"""

"Why did the Mexican take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks"

"The worst things in life are free, too. Like, gonorrhea, chapped elbows and flyers left on your windshield."

"Richard and friend arguing Richard makes good point Richard's friend says mark my words Richard Marx"

"With all these new apple devices, what's gonna be next? The iPoor"

"How do gold diggers get you to be with them? They use their booby traps"