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Joke of the Day

"Irrational fear 807: being spoken to by a comedian during their performance. I would die a thousand proverbial deaths and a single real one."

"Just put some trousers on I last wore at a wedding in 2001 and found a Nokia 3210 in the back pocket. It's still got 2 bars of battery on it."

"I'm a real gym rat (i go there at night and eat their garbage)"

"Two mormons walk into a bar..."

"What do oranges, and Jews have in common? They both hate concentration camps."

"Not sure if you'll like golf? Walk on a treadmill for four hours under a sun lamp then throw away $75 when you're done."

"What's a Vice Presidents favorite type of math function? An Al Gore-ithm"

"What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window. Too soon?"

"I promised to stop making dirty jokes But it's hard..so hard."

"I told my friend I made $600 a month selling dog shit He said: ""That's gross!"" I said: ""No, that's net."""