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Joke of the Day

"Irrational fear 807: being spoken to by a comedian during their performance. I would die a thousand proverbial deaths and a single real one."

"What is a guy who hangs out with musicians called? A singer"

"The truth about Unicorn Q: Why do unicorns only let virgin women get close to them? A: Because they are horny."

"Wearing crocs is like getting a blowjob from a guy... it feels good until you look down and realize you're gay."

"DON'T shoot for the moon if you miss, you will land among the stars alone and asphyxiating"

"Curiosity should start overthrowing the local government and drilling for oil any minute now."

"Elephants and a Guy Two Elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: ""I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"

"Police nearly apprehended a drug dealer selling cocaine in a tobacco store. They were close, but no cigar."

"A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now how do you extract a fork from bone without causing more damage?"

"You Can't spell ADVERTISEMENTS without semen between the tits!"