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Joke of the Day

"Me: lets go get a drink! Friend: what's the occasion? Me: ... Friend: ... Me: I don't understand the question."

"What do you get when you inject a goat with human DNA? A ban from the petting zoo."

"Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months."

"I think it's weird how President Obama appointed George Clooney Secretary Of Handsome. #DNC"

"[Job interview] ""What would you say is your greatest strength?"" ""Sticking my fingers in people's mouths."" ""Arhghv-um-hirv-ok-hrbsj-hired"""

"It's like trying run the BostonMarathon with Siamese Twins... They're both pulling in different directions"

"What did one testicle say to the other testicle? This guy in middle is a dick."

"I consider myself a dog person I love ass in my face"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alexander ! Alexander who ? Alexander friend are coming over !"

"What do you call an alien with three balls? E.T. the extra testicle."