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Joke of the Day

"It's like trying run the BostonMarathon with Siamese Twins... They're both pulling in different directions"

"My only talent is sleeping I could do it with my eyes closed."

"If a tree falls in the woods, and there are no English majors around to hear it... does is lay on the ground, or lie?"

"America is that sexy classmate everyone had a crush on in high school, not aging that well but you'd still hit it."

"This joke is like gravity. A force."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the P is silent."

"I'm in a very serious relationship we never laugh."

"Have you guys heard about the Indian coat check? His name was Mahatma Coat."

"I'm calling my dick ""Infinite Warfare"" because no one wants it"

"So apparently airport security doesn't like it when you call shotgun before boarding a plane."