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Joke of the Day

"[Job interview] ""What would you say is your greatest strength?"" ""Sticking my fingers in people's mouths."" ""Arhghv-um-hirv-ok-hrbsj-hired"""

"I met a one-legged waitress at IHOP... Her name was Ilene."

"Whats green and yellow and eats nuts? Gonorrhea!"

"A gorilla walks into a bar Holy shit run!"

"If all the corner pieces of a cake are gone, I calmly pull the emergency icing out of my purse & frost the edges of an inside piece."

"I never wish death upon anybody who wrongs me. I wish sudden, explosive diarrhea while on a date Much more satisfying."

"Q: What do a Wendy's Hamburger and the Waco compound have in common? A: They were both cooked by a guy named ""Dave""."

"Hey guys, which cell phone provider drops the most calls? I need to get one for my mom."

"I wouldn't say my wife was fat....... .....but she wore a white dress to the cinema last night and they showed the film on her back!"

"Posted a picture of my privates on Facebook... I guess you could call it Ballsy"