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Joke of the Day

"Mommy what's an ""Act of God?"" Me: *Flashback to my CrossFit trainer* Well dear, an ""active god"" is in his mid-20s and has a smokin hot body"

"i was sitting next to a gorgeous girl on the bus yesterday i was so nervous. i kept thinking to myself ""please don't get a boner, please don't get a boner"". she got a boner."

"Do you know which End she was talking about? My teacher pointed me with her ruler and declared that at the end of her ruler is an idiot. I was suspended for a week for just asking which end!"

"Why wasn't Jesus born in lindsay Ontario. Couldn't find three wise men. Or a virgin..."

"Heard about the new Itailian all-weather tires? Dago through rain Dago through mud Dago through snow And when Dago flat Dago wop-wop-wop-wop..."

"The only thing better than an orgasm is being interrupted by stupid bullshit while you're masturbating. I hate stopping at toll booths!"

"Being fat is just a giant trophy for all of the awesome food you ate."

"Oxygen went on a date with potassium. It went OK."

"TIFU by being King of the jungle. I am Lion. lololol"

"I kneed a knee pun Title says it all: any knee puns to go on a joke t-shirt for someone recovering post-acl surgery? Thanks!"