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Joke of the Day

"How is American beer like having sex in a canoe? It's fucking close to water."

"Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse? She didn't."

"My wife complains that I never open the car door for her, but when I do she's all, ""Stop it, you're driving too fast! We're on a bridge!"""

"The story of the co-pilot shows what happens if you don't deal with depresion You will just bring down others"

"What if that guy just found a mountain that looked like those presidents and then told everyone he carved it?"

"A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, ""I slept with a Brazilian...."" The blonde replies, ""Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"""

"I tried cooking with wine for the first time last night ...After 5 glasses I forgot why I was in the kitchen."

"Right now feels like the eye of the storm, or, if you're younger than 25, the drop in the dubstep song."

"Why are a lot of Italians named Tony? Because as they got on the boat to leave Italy, they were stamped on the head, ""TO NY""."

"You know what i hate the most about Sex Ed? that he's been convicted of several cases of sexual assault"