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Joke of the Day

"I tried cooking with wine for the first time last night ...After 5 glasses I forgot why I was in the kitchen."

"What's a 6.9? A great thing ruined by a period."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side"

"I've been called ""Poindexter"" for different things... Does that make me ambipoindextrous?"

"From my 4 year old: What do you call a penguin that can't win? A peng-lose!"

"6.8 billion people in the world and I just had to make my own sandwich."

"(Possible trigger) I wanted to smoke a joint with some Mexicans today.. I asked if anybody had papers and they all ran."

"What did the fish have to pay to get past the coral reef? Atoll."

"On a scale from 1 to... On a scale from 1 to 16, how illegal was she?"

"I was really upset when I lost my paper towels I was SO upset that they had gone missing that I had to hire a BOUNTY hunter *ba dum tss*"