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Joke of the Day

"Right now feels like the eye of the storm, or, if you're younger than 25, the drop in the dubstep song."

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"Boss: ""Do you know why I've called you into my office?"" Into My Office: ""Because that's my name?"" Boss: ""Yes, that's right."""
"Did you know that calculus was never taught in southern schools before the 1960s? They didn't believe in integration."
"My brother shit himself.... my mom said holy shit"
"Two red blood cells met and fell in love. But alas, it was in vein."
"Chuck Norris threw an impact grenade and killed one hundred people. Then the grenade blew up."
"Why was Luke Skywalker banned from all the local pubs... He used excessive force"
"What's the difference between a male lawyer and a male prostitute? A male prostitute charges $20."
"A man runs into a hospital yelling ""Im having a stroke!"" The nurse replies, ""I know sir, but can you please put your penis back in your pants?!?"""
"him: who is your fantasy? me: huh? him: who would you like to be stuck in an elevator with? me: the elevator repair man."
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