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Joke of the Day
"Haven't seen any UFOs lately. Wondering if the galaxy is downsizing their space programs too."
Next Joke
"What do you call the process of a robot clearing its artificial nose? An olfactory reset."
"Whenever someone says ""let's get weird"" my first thought is ""I'm already there"""
"A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says ""uno, dos..."" *poof* ...He disappears without a tres!"
"Why did the semen cross the road? Because you wore the wrong sock."
"My favorite joke: What do hillbillies do for Halloween? Pump kin."
"How many paranoids does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who wants to know? .... saw this joke in today's [Get Fuzzy]( http://www.gocomics.com/getfuzzy/2012/10/18)"
"Me: [stands under majestic tree watching leaves fall] This is beautiful [2 hours later buried under a mountain of leaves] you piece of shit"
"A beautiful lady once asked me what I like in a woman. I got six months for indecent exposure."
"Zombies never bite hipsters. They taste fine. We just don't want to spend eternity hearing them say they became undead before it was cool."