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Joke of the Day

"LOL""Twitter is better with friends. We found some people you might know"". Block Block Block Block"

"It's like these birds don't even know that it's the crack of fuck on a mother fucking Saturday morning."

"Hell hath no fury like a pizza pocket that hasn't had proper cooling time."

"Them: What would you do if you knew that you couldn't fail? Me: Probably eat spaghetti while wearing a clean gray sweatshirt."

"May the f... ...orce be equal to mass times acceleration."

"Girls, if you're gonna shave your eyebrows off just to draw them on again, at least make them interesting. How about drawing two umbrellas?"

"Do you like snow? Yes Or Snow"

"Harrison Ford has broken his ankle. There will now be a new Star Wars cast."

"How do I know we are going to have sex tonight? Because, I'm stronger then you are."

"POLICE! OPEN UP, WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE. WELL, WE DON'T KNOW BUT WE'RE KINDA HOPING YOU ARE COS IT WAS A LONG DRIVE & JIM NEEDS TO PEE."