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Joke of the Day
"Why don't lobsters share their dinner? Because they're shellfish!!!"
Next Joke
"I read an article about how much college will cost in 20 years so I'm scraping some paint chips off the house for my daughter to snack on."
"I can bench 170 lbs. And by that I mean I can sit myself down on a bench in a pretty park."
"I know someone who talks like an owl"
"What do you call 3 knights in a relationship? Polyarmory"
"Paul is coming over tonight Paul smith or Paul who puts ketchup on everything? [car pulls into driveway covered in ketchup]"
"I hate laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, fixing and fetching. The only logical conclusion is that I am descended from royalty."
"I clicked ""Going"" on a Facebook event last week but now I feel like staying in... *masked tough guys throw me in a van* ""You committed, pal"""
"Hey y'all, I finally got a smart phone. I'm a big girl now! Anyone got a 5 year old I can borrow to teach me how to use the damn thing?"
"What did the baby computer say to his father? Data!"