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Joke of the Day
"I know someone who talks like an owl"
Next Joke
"It's not that I don't want kids, it's just that I don't want a minivan."
"Why doesn't Santa have to pay for parking? Because it's on the house."
"I'm not looking for a TC, I'm looking for someone with a woodchipper who doesn't ask questions."
"What is the difference between a painting and jesus? A painting only need one nail to hang"
"congrats to those who made it onto my ""Not A Lizard"" spreadsheet in 2015. to the rest of u, better luck next year and/or die reptilian scum."
"Why did 10 die? Cuz he was in the middle of 9/11"
"How much longer? Did you bring any snacks? They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet? - me watching my kids Christmas pageant"
"TIL the USS Colorado made nearly 12,000 career dives during WWII- significantly more than most modern submarines- and sunk the last Japanese warship of the war! Sorry, wrong sub :("
"Why do chicken coops have 2 doors? Because if they had 4 doors they would be called chicken sedans!"