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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a flea circus? From scratch."

"He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame."

"*puts on Rocky theme music* *cracks neck* *cracks knuckles* *stretches* *jogs in place* *picks up phone to call mom*"

"Name That Tune My school had a ""Name that Tune"" activity for the staff, and they had sound trouble so there was silence. I shouted out ""John Cage!"" and no one laughed."

"Did you hear that Shakira and Madonna had a big fight? They're no longer on a first-name basis."

"Why are all liquor stores haunted? Because they're full of spirits."

"My favorite drawings at the Mohammad cartoon festival in Texas... were the two chalk outlines out front."

"I always hear voices when I go for a poo. Shitzophrenia."

"The music composer at my school is suffering from Cancer. He's in the hospital being fed through a tuba."

"A blonde walks into a bar and asks the bartender, ""What do you have on tap?"" He replies, ""Anheuser-Busch"" She says, ""Just fine. How's your penis?"""