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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear that Shakira and Madonna had a big fight? They're no longer on a first-name basis."
Next Joke
"Two guys walk into a bar... ""Ouch!"""
"Saw a black guy walking the streets carrying a tv.. ...and I thought ""is that one mine""? Then I remembered it couldn't be mine because mine was mowing the lawn at the moment."
"I was going to drive to the shop to pick up some guacamole... ....but I don't avocado."
"Tell the barista your name is Beetlejuice and quietly walk out."
"Wanna know the best part about being in 10 year long marriages? Having sex with a different woman every year."
"When you get sloppy seconds and get her pregnant. You get a sloppy Joe."
"How do you piss off Reddit? [deleted]"
"Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had two candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine."
"My cat just wrote the Great American Novel. Let me read you a page, ""Meow meow meow meow meow meow."" Dunno, think it's a little pretentious."