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Joke of the Day

"You might want to read all of my tweets... so that when the movie comes out you can be all pompous and say the timeline was better."

"I went to handshake someone and he basically just gripped my thumb and I'm never going to be popular"

"When I was young I would go and throw rocks at the man doing Taekwondo in the park I would always get a huge kick out of it"

"Why is Batman undefeatable? Because he was coached by Liam Neeson."

"Why weren't you at the Halloween party? My costume was a black father so I couldn't be there."

"long joke incummin (LOL) what do christians and right wingers have in common they cant feel the bern"

"Helen Keller walks into a bar... And a table. And some chairs."

"What is the painless frequency? 0 Hz"

"What do you call a kid with no legs, no arms and an eyepatch? Names."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a large-breasted crab? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."