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Joke of the Day

"April Fool's Day pregnancy jokes stopped being fun when my parents started getting excited instead of scared."

"if you haven't been called a racist on the internet you haven't been using the internet"

"I once illegally parked my vechile at a Foot Fetishists Convention to grab some good next door My vehicle got toed."

"There are 3 kinds of people in this world... ...those who can count and those who can't"

"What do you call an all panda furry orgy? Panda-moan-ium"

"A tap, tap, tapping at my door Knock, knock. *Who's there?* Control freak. *Contro-* (interrupting) Now you say, ""Control freak who?"""

"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken"

"School Meals by R. E. Volting"

"Parenting is all about multitasking. Like trying to brush your teeth while you're rock climbing."

"So this girl makes her own hummus. We're in different tax brackets I'm guessing."