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Joke of the Day
"So this girl makes her own hummus. We're in different tax brackets I'm guessing."
Next Joke
"What do you get when you cross.... .... the DNA of a human with the DNA of a goat? Kicked out of the petting zoo."
"Why was the pregnant woman screaming ""wouldn't, shouldn't, couldn't!""? She was having contractions."
"Justin Trudeau announces free lazer eye surgery for all Canadians in 4 years... When asked why he put forward this proposal, he responded by saying ""because it's 2020""."
"Anyone heard of that movie ""Constipation""? It hasn't come out yet though. ...."
"What is the difference between a physicist and a biologist? A physicist is atoms studying themselves, while a biologist is cells that study themselves."
"they used to allow cell phones on airplames but the pasengers kept textimg the pilots to do loop-de-loops & barrel rols. it was too rad"
"Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing"
"Jeff is here! ""Jeff from work or Jeff the guy who announces his arrival anytime he enters a room"" Jeff is here!"
"What do you call a bovine that won't leave Egypt? MOO-barak!"