208917

Joke of the Day

"I knew someone who died in a skydiving accident. Their funeral wreath was in the shape of a parachute. After all, that's what they would've wanted."

Next Joke
 
"Finally, after years of waiting, my book on having sex with herbs has been published. Its about fucking thyme."
"Did u guys know u can smoke Newports on Delta flights"
"I just published a satirical critique of the Russian government and Putin hasn't sent anyone to kill me yet. I'm radiating with joy."
"Not having any friends means I'm always the pretty one."
"I apologize to everyone that I've ever offended. Just kidding. Could you imagine?"
"Arnold Palmer has died... I heard that he will be half buried and half cremated."
"This man is frank and earnest with women... In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest. - Henny Youngman (for a Monday morning pick-me-up.)"
"Stop making fun of fat people. They have enough on their plates!"
"What did the leper tell the prostitute? You can keep the tip"